My generation has faced many things: Y2K, the N’Sync vs. Backstreet Boys fiasco (BSB all the way), the rise and fall of Britney Spears, the death of TRL, and a number of other things we can sit here and discuss… However, technology threw a curveball at us when social media was first introduced and proceeded to take over our life. Our parents didn’t really have to deal with it and those younger than us were born into it. But us? Well, we are unique because we remember life pre- FB and Instagram, but also know life post FB and Instagram. And you know what’s the one thing that has remained a constant through these changes and new developments? Insecurities. In fact, social media fosters insecurities and can create them. So this reality check is first and for most for myself- and anyone else who can identify 🙂

I’m never going to be insta famous. I’ve come to accept that. And it’s okay. Sure, I’d love to post an outfit and have it sell out.. Or get a ton of free stuff… But no matter which way I put it, it just ain’t happening. For one, I don’t have a photographer following me around for outfit photo shoots.. And even if I make a mental note “outfit is cute, take photo” I usually forget.. Or the hubs gets annoyed when I badger him for pictures (can’t blame the guy…)

A part of me feels like being insta famous is what would make my insecure 18 year old feel good.. However, I’m 10 years past that self conscience version of myself. Another part of me just wants free stuff (because seriously, NYC living ain’t cheap, and the more free the merrier). But another part of me thinks “do I really need that affirmation from people I mostly don’t know to feel good about myself? *humble brag*- with the grace of God and a lot of hard work and sacrifices, I’ve managed to achieve quite a lot before the age of 30. When I consciously remind myself of these things, I am 1000% sure I don’t need to be insta famous. So no- I don’t need those likes to feel good about myself because after all, real accomplishments are more rewarding and useful than having hundreds of likes. Yet in moments of weakness, I find myself on social media comparing my clothes, hair, makeup, etc to people I don’t even know (or even those I know) and allow myself to feel less worthy and get bummed out. And I know this isn’t just me that experiences this- I’m sure it happens to the best of us. And it’s funny because comparing yourself to a professional instagrammer is just silly- usually they have a beauty team that makes them look all pretty, with professional lighting and photographer.. So the selfie I take in my classroom with hospital like lighting really isn’t of the same caliber and should not be held equal! And maybe my rug and throw pillows aren’t the latest finds from Marshals or Home Goods (oh how I love these stores), but one can only fit a certain number of pillows into a tiny NYC apartment, right? But why, oh why, do we (or I) allow ourselves to feel insignificant and allow our many accomplishments to suddenly diminish as we scroll through the gram? I don’t know the answer, but I can remind us all of a few things to remember:

1. A photo is a photo- it doesn’t always tell the truth. They say a picture says a thousand words, but it can also hide a thousand words. Who knows if the smile is real or the clothes isn’t immediately returned after the photoshoot? And even if the photo presents an honest story of the subject- so what?! The clothes you have are the result of hard work and are a blessing when compared to the true needs of our world. So the post shows a happy moment between a couple: rejoice with them and be thankful for your relationships.

2. Many successful Instagramers are more than that- they are successful stylists, artists, ect who use social media to their advantage, and rightfully so (chriselle, etc). I love following certain bloggers who have made a career out of this- good for them! But remember- it’s their career! Don’t feel small or insignificant if your outfit just doesn’t match up- think about your career and the successes you enjoy from a job well done. We all have a purpose: Love what you do. Do what you love.

3. Some, like my favorite @tuulavintage, just have an amazing life that I genuinely love to follow and don’t feel insecure over, but am inspired. But this life didn’t fall into her lap- she works very hard, just like I am sure so many other successful bloggers do, because this is her career. This goes back to point #2: don’t compare apples to oranges. Very different! And both so wonderful.

4. I really have to check my insecurities at the door- just because I allowed them to cripple me in my early teen and early 20’s doesn’t mean that they’re allowed back in my life. Often times those feelings of insecurities rise up because there is an open door somewhere, and instead of allowing yourself to walk through that door, close it. I’m currently working on my third degree (and I fear this isn’t my last), have a successful career that’s moving forward faster than I’d ever imagined, and live in my dream city. Insecurity?! No thank you. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

5. As stated in #1- a photo is just a photo. Be secure if your looks, your home, your clothes, your relationship, your choices. That’s what matters- what you think and feel, not what those who don’t know you think or feel about you. All of us lead such different lives and that’s the beauty of it all- our uniqueness.

And that’s just the thing about insecurities: they lead us to diminish our own self worth and our accomplishments- which is devastating. It’s one thing when a bully tries to diminish you- that’s often not within our control and reveals more about them and you… But when we allow our insecurities to dictate our emotions- it’s comparable to self sabotage and that’s heartbreaking.

Happy granming my friends- here’s to all of the imperfect, yet perfect selfies that we’ll probably continue to post because it’s just so fun.