The other day I was browsing the endless racks of quick fashion at H&M in Herald Square when the DJ (yes, there is an actual DJ) played Miss Independent by Ne-Yo. I was immediately taken back to when the song first released in 2008 and I adopted it as my theme song for life.  At that time, I was a college student and about to embark on an exciting “semester away” in NYC, a dream come true, and felt like the world was my oyster. I remember listening to it on repeat as I worked on papers, walked the streets of NYC and thought about my future. At that time, I envisioned my future self working in finance, wearing chic business suits with heels and leading the high life in NYC. Each time I heard this song, I felt a sense of purpose (silly, I know) and encouragement. It’s silly because it’s just a song, but it provided me with hope because even though my life choices conflicted with the pressures of my community, I was independent. This provided a sense of validation and helped me look ahead.

A few months later, I made the decision to apply to NYC Teaching Fellows to become a teacher in a NYC public school, which wasn’t exactly the plan I had envision for myself, but nonetheless, it was a decision that was driven by passion and provided me with a sense of purpose. I moved to NYC, started grad school and became a teacher. For the first two years, this was all great and dandy because I believed in what I was doing, I still felt like “Miss Independent”-even though I became a Mrs.-and I still had passion fueling my work. Somewhere in my third year of teaching, I lost that passion and began to feel stuck, unmotivated, like a failure and so forth. Why? Who knows-maybe because I never planned on being a teacher and felt that I wasn’t following my dreams, so I felt too comfortable (which is a place I’m not comfortable being). Whatever the reason, I slowly fell into a sense of despair because I felt like I was betraying myself and others. I no longer felt like “Miss Independent” because I didn’t believe in what I was doing. To be even more honest, it’s not that I didn’t believe in what I was doing, rather I thought I wasn’t doing what I said I would be doing years ago. My vision for life wasn’t aligning with my reality…or so I thought.

So on this day, as I heard the song blasting through the speakers of H&M, I stopped for a moment of reflection and couldn’t help but smile. Somewhere along my path, I thought I lost my way to being this vision of myself that I so wanted, but in reality, I was that vision and so much more! No, I’m not working in finance, but I’m happy about that! No, I don’t wear business suits and heels to work everyday, but I’m happy about that as well! I find myself living a life with purpose in a career that is fulfilling and allows me to be a leader and change lives every single day. In my earlier time of despair over being a teacher, I thought I was giving up on my vision, but turns out in allowing myself to change, I’m seeing my vision become reality. And that’s the lesson here folks; change is good. I have no clue what my life would be like had I followed my original path, but I can tell you that I am happy and filled with purpose as a result of allowing my path to change. It wasn’t easy, and came with many tears. But somehow, my universe righted itself without me truly realizing it until I was reminded that I am that “Miss Independent” I hope to be many many years ago.